musicians

if any body actually reads this, i am really wanting to find a band to play with. i have a grip of songs written with only so much that i can do myself. pretty much all my friends are busy with life, so can't find time to play music with them. but i really wanna make, play, and get paid for music. so if anybody wants to get serious about music. please please please hit me up. that goes for anything i can find guitar, bass, drums, keyboards, tamborine. i don't care i just wanna do what i love with other people. i hope some who reads this feels the same way. i'm out. here's a taste

blogging???

Blogs are always better with month inbetween blogs. I played a show last night at FaithCommunity in Palmdale. It went good. i met a lot of cool kids. ne way right now i'm chilling while Kayj is watching Cars. Good stuff. she is so crazy. she is 2 now and i am thinking about how different things are right now than they were. Life is just everywhere ya know. Super busy with work. living on 3 hours of sleep a day. soon i am going to crash and i am scared of that. but i guess it works right now. it will all be worth it once kristina is done with school. Kayj was the flower girl in my cuz's wedding and this is her afterwards. She was so pretty in her flower girl dress. i loved it. Ne way i'm out...oh wait check my music out

www.myspace.com/lifeoflovemusic

www.youtube.com/user/lifeoflove09

www.facebook.com/thislifeoflove

thoughts

i want to write a story. so i am going to try and write a story. but first i'm gonna write all of it then post a chapter a blog. who knows how long that will take but someday it will happen. so there

This too shall pass

Three nights ago my little sister-in-law died. I have known her less than most people in her family. but i have seen the amazing lives that she has touched. If you didn't know her, i'm sorry but that is your loss. she didn't live any kind of spectacular life, it was sad to watch her some time. but she did it. everyday she woke up and did little artst crafty things or maybe watched a movie or animal planet. she still did, she fought with a disease that basically left her life really meaningless. on the surface anyway. in the last couple days i have spent a lot of time with my wife's family, and i realized that Kaylynn (my sister in law, not my daughter) kept that family together. she was the reason her mom woke up every morning @ 4 to set up all of the pills she had to take. to me i am not sad because she is gone and i truly loved her like my own sister. as cliche as it sounds, i know she is with God. i honestly believe that not everyone goes to Heaven. but i know that even though she might not have been mentally able to comprehend the gospel. God shows his mercy and takes in people in her situation. i'm sad for everyone who she left behind. it is so absolutely heart breaking to see her mom break down in tears over the loss of her youngest daughter, i can't even imagine the pain of losing my daughter. i miss her a lot. i used to play cards with her when she would come stay with us. we shared the same birthday so i feel like she was really special to me. I miss you Kaylynn and everyone longs to see you again.

Touched

by Steve

Did i ever tell you that you're my sunshine

my day is brighter when you're by my side

and i long to see your beautiful face

when i reach the end of this race for you

i found you where the least have known

where you touched my heart and you touched my soul

oh God i need you now

i know she's by your side

looking down on those she left behind

God please hold her close and promise me this

if one did thing last, it'd be our one last kiss goodbye

did i ever tell you that you're my gold

more precious to me when you're young or old

i miss you, wanna kiss you

wish i could hold your hand right now

i found you where the least have known

where you touched my heart and you touched my soul

oh God i need you now

i know she's by your side

looking down on those she left behind

God please hold her close and promise me this

if one did thing last, it'd be our one last kiss goodbye

did i ever tell you that you're my rainbow

you make my pain go away

so please don't be sad for me

can't wait to see you that day

i found you where the least have known

where you touched my heart and you touched my soul

oh God i need you now

i know she's by your side

looking down on those she left behind

God please hold her close and promise me this

if one did thing last, it'd be our one last kiss goodbye

oh the month of June

well its been quite a roller coaster of a month. alright this is gonna be all over the place. this is my month so far: Three wedding anniversary 6/3 very nice (we bought tickets to go see Blink 182 and Weezer in sept), people who were laid off last Novemember @ Rite Aid got their jobs back, Kristina started school at Career Care Institute, decided to go to Disneyland on Kayj's 2nd bday, worked on some music with friends plus i wrote like 3 new songs this month, Kayj is so close to being potty trained, got new Life of Love tshirt and hat designs and some materials to work on those, had a nice relaxing father's day, and the most insane thing this month is...My sister in law is in the hospital since last saturday (6/20). She has really bad pnemonia in both of her lungs. For anyone who doesn't know, she has had cancer since she was like 9, she's 21 now. so she's lived pretty fricking long against the odds. but right now it is not looking so good. she isn't responding the anti biotics well. and all of her counts are low(blood pressure, potassium, calcium, etc), and i really am worried that this could be what we all thought would have already happened. I am not concerned a lot about my sister in law because i think she has beaten this thing more than anybody thought she ever would. whatever happens to her, i know is in God's hands, for better or worse in our eyes. I am really worried about my mother in law. she is an incredibly emotional person, and i know this is going to be the hardest thing she'll ever endure(and she has endured a lot). So please continue to pray for her and that we can be there for her to fall on and catch her. i honestly don't know if kaylynn(my sister in law, not my daughter) is going to live through the rest of this week. I understand that God has a purpose for all of this, but i am worried for those who don't share my same ideas about God. It sounds really bad to say, but this in the long run could be a relief for my mother in law. i think after time of grieve she will be ok. but i just really hope she lasts through that time of grieving. Please just continue to pray for them....

I tunes

music has changed in life. i've heard all these people complain about how the newest green day album sucks. i remember when i was in high school, going and buying american idiot the day it came out and not being really blown away by it. maybe this new green day is more of the same thing. i've only heard the latest single and its alright, could be the same as american idiot. did they really peak at their record Warning? maybe, warning was different than their previous work, but now its like, "hey skinny jeans, eye liner, ties, and songs about how we hate the bush administration= big album sales!" all these things are why bands are making music. i'm not saying that any music with these qualities is bad, i'm just saying that it has become so blah and trendy. i like to listen to one certain radio station but that station still plays alot of the same crap all day long rotating songs maybe in a few hours. it is in fact quite lame, but everyonce in awhile i will hear a new song or even a way old song that is just awesome. i guess i will just live on musical fantasms from the past and let new tunes in as i see fit. i just hope the new Blink 182 album isn't a dissapointment. X )

i wrote this several weeks ago, lost the internet, found it, and now i'm posting it

so kayj is walking behind me pretending to talk on her cell phone (one of my wife's old ones.) its quite funny. anyway, last nite i could not fall asleep so i was up until like 230 or so. not much fun, but i did download a bunch of podcasts and other stuff on my ipod. Man i realized how much technology is used everyday for me. Everyday i wake up by either an alarm on my cell phone or my ipod. I text or make phone calls mostly every day. I use my laptop regularly. i'm almost always listening to something on my ipod. its just crazy. thats not relevant to what i wanted to write about. I've had this weird feeling lately. i don't know how to describe it. Its not a feeling of emptiness, but its not a feeling of fullfillment. i feel like i'm just in a rough part of my life right now. Hopefully getting 40 hours in every week at, spending time with wife and daughter, spending some time to myself, and i feel like most of the time i put God last. I'm trying to make being a believer more of life. but i'm such a lazy and selfish person. i'm trying out some podcasts by some preacher and churches that interest me (Mark Driscoll, The Hillsong churches in London and Sydney, lou giglio, and a local church that i have never attended call Grace Chapel.) yesterday i listened to a whole message from Mark Driscoll about what it takes to be a man and a man's role in his marriage. I was really convicting and also got me thinking, which is a good thing. So i'm kinda deciding right now to take all of this technological time i spend and put that towards use. Its hard for me to sit down and read my bible. but for some reason its not to hard for me to sit down and read it off of my ipod touch. i love the church i go to, but i have heard the same pastor speak for the last 11 years and its kinda driving me crazy. so its kinda nice to hear other people's pastors on a podcast. this rut i'm  in also got me thinking, i'm happy with my life right now. but i'm not fullfilled by my life. i don't want to be rich at all, but i want to be able to take care of my family. i had this dream last night (actually this morning) where we lived somewhere near the beach. it was like San Luis Obispo or Santa Barbara or something. but i only remember one short scene in my dream. its just around sunset and i'm sitting down at the bottom of these steps that lead down right to like a walkway before the sand and the beach. And there is a light ambient music playing. kinda like a Jack Johnson song or something. And i felt at peace, i felt happy. i wonder if that is where my life will be at some point. i wasn't old or didn't look older in my dream. i just want to be on those steps in my life right on the beach, where peace is. i wonder if this is how my mind views Heaven. I dunno i guess thats another blog. Peace out