As (steve) thinks

Tonight tonight!!!

2009-12-04T13:29:00.000-08:00

Come check out my show tonight right here!!!!

recently found this...

2009-12-03T00:20:00.000-08:00

...but then i realized i had it all along. this is how urban dictionary defines "happiness"

happiness...is everything. Happiness isnt based on money and sometimes not even on what you're doing. Its about who your with.

its about living with no regrets
And realising that a bad thing will last a few months, so who cares if he doesnt ask you out? who cares what your parents catch doing with the one who does? and who cares what anyone says about you.
Happiness is taking a risk
and it pays off
and even if it doesnt
another oppurtunity presents itself.
happiness is staying up all night with your frends.
happiness is water fights on late summer evenings.
happiness is love....lust only gives moments of happiness to the fact you cant believe you have that person...love leaves you eternally in wonder of how you ended up feeling so right.
happiness is being with your friends and wearing crazy ass hats in public
happiness is seeing a familiar face in nevr ending sea of lies.
happiness is no homework
happiness is having tickle fights with the one you love
happiness is lying in the sun looking at the clouds
happiness is doing wat you want to do
happiness is helping one another
happiness if giving all of you no matter how much you recieve in return
happiness is being able to speak your mind
happiness is knowing you have earnt all the praise you get and being able to say thank you...not going red, studying your shoelaces and bringing yourself down
happiness is confidence
happiness is working hard for something
happiness is being wateva you want and not caring what anyone says...you only get to live once..you will nevr live it down if you're on your deathbed and you realise that you've spent your whole life being what everyone else wanted you to be. living a lie
happiness is finding out who you are
happiness is coming home and your parents ask you how your day was...evn if u jst grunt back
happiness is singing in the shower as loud as you can...i mean showers hav that magical power that means no-one else can hear you...rite?
happiness is not being afraid to say someone is hot...it makes u all giggly...saying someone is good looking doesnt neccessarily mean you want them
happiness is feeling safe
happiness is feeling wanted
happiness is feeling at peace with yourself
happiness is feeling that someone always has your back
happiness is when something isnt funny..but your so happy to see someone that u cant stop smiling
happiness is that one thing you can nevr really express to someone...its like a drug, it makes you do crazy things...its make you feel ontop of the world.
this made me happy knowing that peopl will read this and feel happy
it made me happy because i made a good attempt to describe something that can nevr be completely decribed.

happiness is the one thing that keeps you going when you're like the single flowers whose colours hav turned to shades of grey

i cant explain this happiness

Each and every thug needs one

2009-11-05T00:06:00.000-08:00

possibly the greatest Dan Adriano song ever written

Every thug needs a lady

I know it's dark here, you know that I'm scared too For some reason right now, of everything but you Right now you're all that I recognize You know I came here when I needed your soft voice I needed to hear something that sounded like an answer Now I wait here, and sometimes I get one  It's nothing I'll forget when the moon gets tired You are stuck to me everyday Believe in what I am because it's all I have today And tomorrow who knows where we'll be From here I can hardly see a thing  But I will follow anyone who brings me to you For now, forever, for on and on and on  You know it starts here, outside waiting in the cold Kiss me once in the snow, I swear it never gets old And I will promise you I can make it warmer next year You know I came here when I needed your soft voice I needed to hear something that sounded like an answer Now I stay here, and everyday I get one  It's nothing I'll forget when the moon gets tired You are stuck to me everyday Believe in what I am because it's all I have today And tomorrow who knows where we'll be From here I can hardly see a thing  But I will follow anyone who brings me to you For now, forever, for on and on and on  So go plug in your electric blanket We can stay in 'till our southern summer wedding day Go plug in your electric blanket We can stay here

2009-10-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

this is my favorite

musicians

2009-10-22T11:35:00.001-07:00

if any body actually reads this, i am really wanting to find a band to play with. i have a grip of songs written with only so much that i can do myself. pretty much all my friends are busy with life, so can't find time to play music with them. but i really wanna make, play, and get paid for music. so if anybody wants to get serious about music. please please please hit me up. that goes for anything i can find guitar, bass, drums, keyboards, tamborine. i don't care i just wanna do what i love with other people. i hope some who reads this feels the same way. i'm out. here's a taste

blogging???

2009-10-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

Blogs are always better with month inbetween blogs. I played a show last night at FaithCommunity in Palmdale. It went good. i met a lot of cool kids. ne way right now i'm chilling while Kayj is watching Cars. Good stuff. she is so crazy. she is 2 now and i am thinking about how different things are right now than they were. Life is just everywhere ya know. Super busy with work. living on 3 hours of sleep a day. soon i am going to crash and i am scared of that. but i guess it works right now. it will all be worth it once kristina is done with school. Kayj was the flower girl in my cuz's wedding and this is her afterwards. She was so pretty in her flower girl dress. i loved it. Ne way i'm out...oh wait check my music out

www.myspace.com/lifeoflovemusic

www.youtube.com/user/lifeoflove09

www.facebook.com/thislifeoflove

thoughts

2009-07-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

i want to write a story. so i am going to try and write a story. but first i'm gonna write all of it then post a chapter a blog. who knows how long that will take but someday it will happen. so there

This too shall pass

2009-07-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

Three nights ago my little sister-in-law died. I have known her less than most people in her family. but i have seen the amazing lives that she has touched. If you didn't know her, i'm sorry but that is your loss. she didn't live any kind of spectacular life, it was sad to watch her some time. but she did it. everyday she woke up and did little artst crafty things or maybe watched a movie or animal planet. she still did, she fought with a disease that basically left her life really meaningless. on the surface anyway. in the last couple days i have spent a lot of time with my wife's family, and i realized that Kaylynn (my sister in law, not my daughter) kept that family together. she was the reason her mom woke up every morning @ 4 to set up all of the pills she had to take. to me i am not sad because she is gone and i truly loved her like my own sister. as cliche as it sounds, i know she is with God. i honestly believe that not everyone goes to Heaven. but i know that even though she might not have been mentally able to comprehend the gospel. God shows his mercy and takes in people in her situation. i'm sad for everyone who she left behind. it is so absolutely heart breaking to see her mom break down in tears over the loss of her youngest daughter, i can't even imagine the pain of losing my daughter. i miss her a lot. i used to play cards with her when she would come stay with us. we shared the same birthday so i feel like she was really special to me. I miss you Kaylynn and everyone longs to see you again.

Touched

by Steve

Did i ever tell you that you're my sunshine

my day is brighter when you're by my side

and i long to see your beautiful face

when i reach the end of this race for you

i found you where the least have known

where you touched my heart and you touched my soul

oh God i need you now

i know she's by your side

looking down on those she left behind

God please hold her close and promise me this

if one did thing last, it'd be our one last kiss goodbye

did i ever tell you that you're my gold

more precious to me when you're young or old

i miss you, wanna kiss you

wish i could hold your hand right now

i found you where the least have known

where you touched my heart and you touched my soul

oh God i need you now

i know she's by your side

looking down on those she left behind

God please hold her close and promise me this

if one did thing last, it'd be our one last kiss goodbye

did i ever tell you that you're my rainbow

you make my pain go away

so please don't be sad for me

can't wait to see you that day

i found you where the least have known

where you touched my heart and you touched my soul

oh God i need you now

i know she's by your side

looking down on those she left behind

God please hold her close and promise me this

if one did thing last, it'd be our one last kiss goodbye

oh the month of June

2009-06-24T16:58:00.001-07:00

well its been quite a roller coaster of a month. alright this is gonna be all over the place. this is my month so far: Three wedding anniversary 6/3 very nice (we bought tickets to go see Blink 182 and Weezer in sept), people who were laid off last Novemember @ Rite Aid got their jobs back, Kristina started school at Career Care Institute, decided to go to Disneyland on Kayj's 2nd bday, worked on some music with friends plus i wrote like 3 new songs this month, Kayj is so close to being potty trained, got new Life of Love tshirt and hat designs and some materials to work on those, had a nice relaxing father's day, and the most insane thing this month is...My sister in law is in the hospital since last saturday (6/20). She has really bad pnemonia in both of her lungs. For anyone who doesn't know, she has had cancer since she was like 9, she's 21 now. so she's lived pretty fricking long against the odds. but right now it is not looking so good. she isn't responding the anti biotics well. and all of her counts are low(blood pressure, potassium, calcium, etc), and i really am worried that this could be what we all thought would have already happened. I am not concerned a lot about my sister in law because i think she has beaten this thing more than anybody thought she ever would. whatever happens to her, i know is in God's hands, for better or worse in our eyes. I am really worried about my mother in law. she is an incredibly emotional person, and i know this is going to be the hardest thing she'll ever endure(and she has endured a lot). So please continue to pray for her and that we can be there for her to fall on and catch her. i honestly don't know if kaylynn(my sister in law, not my daughter) is going to live through the rest of this week. I understand that God has a purpose for all of this, but i am worried for those who don't share my same ideas about God. It sounds really bad to say, but this in the long run could be a relief for my mother in law. i think after time of grieve she will be ok. but i just really hope she lasts through that time of grieving. Please just continue to pray for them....

I tunes

2009-05-16T15:21:00.000-07:00

music has changed in life. i've heard all these people complain about how the newest green day album sucks. i remember when i was in high school, going and buying american idiot the day it came out and not being really blown away by it. maybe this new green day is more of the same thing. i've only heard the latest single and its alright, could be the same as american idiot. did they really peak at their record Warning? maybe, warning was different than their previous work, but now its like, "hey skinny jeans, eye liner, ties, and songs about how we hate the bush administration= big album sales!" all these things are why bands are making music. i'm not saying that any music with these qualities is bad, i'm just saying that it has become so blah and trendy. i like to listen to one certain radio station but that station still plays alot of the same crap all day long rotating songs maybe in a few hours. it is in fact quite lame, but everyonce in awhile i will hear a new song or even a way old song that is just awesome. i guess i will just live on musical fantasms from the past and let new tunes in as i see fit. i just hope the new Blink 182 album isn't a dissapointment. X )

i wrote this several weeks ago, lost the internet, found it, and now i'm posting it

2009-04-28T15:11:00.001-07:00

so kayj is walking behind me pretending to talk on her cell phone (one of my wife's old ones.) its quite funny. anyway, last nite i could not fall asleep so i was up until like 230 or so. not much fun, but i did download a bunch of podcasts and other stuff on my ipod. Man i realized how much technology is used everyday for me. Everyday i wake up by either an alarm on my cell phone or my ipod. I text or make phone calls mostly every day. I use my laptop regularly. i'm almost always listening to something on my ipod. its just crazy. thats not relevant to what i wanted to write about. I've had this weird feeling lately. i don't know how to describe it. Its not a feeling of emptiness, but its not a feeling of fullfillment. i feel like i'm just in a rough part of my life right now. Hopefully getting 40 hours in every week at, spending time with wife and daughter, spending some time to myself, and i feel like most of the time i put God last. I'm trying to make being a believer more of life. but i'm such a lazy and selfish person. i'm trying out some podcasts by some preacher and churches that interest me (Mark Driscoll, The Hillsong churches in London and Sydney, lou giglio, and a local church that i have never attended call Grace Chapel.) yesterday i listened to a whole message from Mark Driscoll about what it takes to be a man and a man's role in his marriage. I was really convicting and also got me thinking, which is a good thing. So i'm kinda deciding right now to take all of this technological time i spend and put that towards use. Its hard for me to sit down and read my bible. but for some reason its not to hard for me to sit down and read it off of my ipod touch. i love the church i go to, but i have heard the same pastor speak for the last 11 years and its kinda driving me crazy. so its kinda nice to hear other people's pastors on a podcast. this rut i'm in also got me thinking, i'm happy with my life right now. but i'm not fullfilled by my life. i don't want to be rich at all, but i want to be able to take care of my family. i had this dream last night (actually this morning) where we lived somewhere near the beach. it was like San Luis Obispo or Santa Barbara or something. but i only remember one short scene in my dream. its just around sunset and i'm sitting down at the bottom of these steps that lead down right to like a walkway before the sand and the beach. And there is a light ambient music playing. kinda like a Jack Johnson song or something. And i felt at peace, i felt happy. i wonder if that is where my life will be at some point. i wasn't old or didn't look older in my dream. i just want to be on those steps in my life right on the beach, where peace is. i wonder if this is how my mind views Heaven. I dunno i guess thats another blog. Peace out

Life Of Love

2009-03-07T15:46:00.000-08:00

well i got subscribed to this christian pop culture magazine called Relevant. Anyway it is really interesting, and it has totally got me thinking. it had an article about the current economic crisis in our country. It said the in 2009 without much money music, fashion, and artistic expression are going to have become far more creative. Very DIY(do-it-yourself). I think it was either in the current issue or on their website, they said that when the world of creation has been torn down, all that is left to do it rebuild stronger. That notion has really gotten my brain turning. I'm putting my foot back into music. Not for myself this time, for God. i don't really care about making money with my music. But i want to play for God, and be able to inspire someone else to do something creative and artistic for Him. My songs that i have aren't super complex or even that good, but i think they can make people feel things. And thats good enough for me. Plus i am starting my own kind of clothing line. Its called Love of Life. Its God, Music, and Love. i got a couple designs drawn out. very exciting. if anyone who reads this want to help with ideas, distribution, drawing, praying, scriptures, music, or anything i'd appreciate it. i'm out <....(thats a sideways peace sign, as to say"peace out")

God, music, sex, drugs, and booze

2009-02-25T17:14:00.000-08:00

so alot of the time i find myself endlessly indulging in my Wikipedia addiction. well i today i searched for "contemporary christian music" and it had a little sub point about the controversy with this kind of music in some modern churches. It said that some churches didn't like the idea of having these kind of songs(not always hymns) played during their services because they associate it with rock and roll music. Basically because it can be played on a mainstream radio station it must have anything and everything to do with sex, drugs, alcohol, and other forms of debotchery. Well i think that is a huge load of crap. First off God's love isn't exclusive, its extended to all of mankind. Whether it is returned is another story. But His love is for everyone, the addicts, the drug dealers, prostitutes, the children, the poor, the rich, the dirty and the clean. It really pisses me off to see such hypocrisy in our world. During Christ's time on earth he spent his time at parties with prostitutes and tax collectors. it makes me think of how this relates to us today. At my job i work with a lot of gay people. I don't think homosexuality is the way God intended us to be. But things like prop 8 (which in all its complications i agree with). I don't want my little daughter to grow up in a world of sin where homosexuality is the norm. i don't think it is. but on the other hand, if u have a vote yes on Prop 8 bumper sticker on the back of your car and a gay person sees that i think they would feel like you absolutely hate them. i don't hate the gay people that i work with. in fact, i would call some of them my friends. they are maybe nicer(in the world's eyes, they "good people") people than some straight people i know. but in my mind i guess that doesn't change the fact of what God has told me that they are living in sin. I fight with myself in my head about this a lot. How can i be against sin, when i feel that hating sin makes me hate the sinful. i get uncomfortable at work sometimes when guys talk about some girl that they want to have sex with. i'm like how can you show absolutley no respect for that women. For another human being for that matter. Some of these guys are married and have kids and all they talk about is their next screw. I feel like they have no respect for anyone but themselves. They sure don't care about their wives, their kids, and they damn sure don't care about the girl they want. This world makes me so sick sometimes...longest rant (i mean blog) ever...

the day after yesterday

2009-01-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

so yesterday was my birthday. it was pretty good. i chilled at home with Kayj till Kristina got home. then kristina's mom babysat for us. We went down to the valencia mall cuz we both had $100 gift cards to macy's so we wanted to spend them. Now Macy's has this machine that sells like ipod, zunes, dvds, and video game stuff. And i had intended to buy a new ipod touch. we look around and finally find this super vending machine and its sold out of ipod touch's. so i was kinda bummed but decided i'd sell my gift card to my mom and go get a touch from best buy. but we kept shopping and then we went to claimjumpers. It was pretty nice, the one in santa clarita is way nicer than the one in palmdale. got some grub, got a little booze, got a lot of dessert(very provacative desserts to say the least). and then we went home. so yeah it was a pretty fun bday, nothing big or anything. my mom bought me a long board, which i took out today. i was seriously like a little kid with a new bike. i rode around rosamond for like an hour or so. it felt really good, and tiring. so yeah thats my new form of exercise. please don't hit with your car if u see me on the side of the road. i'm gonna go to best buy and circuit city tomorrow to look for an ipod. so i'm very much looking forward to tomorrow. so....yeah....i'm out

-(steve)

Somethings that havent died yet

2009-01-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

so yeah, i just remembered i had this blog. so its been like six months since i last posted. Well lots have changed in six months, sort of. Well as of august i switched to working days at the warehouse i work in. and as of this month i had to switch back to working nights, which sucks. Kayj is 16 months or now, for the mathematically challenged that means she is a few months over 1 year old. which i think is pretty friggin cool. Yeah she does the whole toddler thing now; walks, talks nonsense, dances, gets really pissed off, and is even starting potty training. But yeah other than her and work, not much is new. My b-day is tomorrow and i'm pretty stoked about that. Me and the wife are just going to claimjumpers and the valencia mall. Yeah, the big 22. peace out

this has not been profitable...

2008-06-14T17:17:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how to post this on my myspace, so people can check out my blog. so for now these blogs are for me, and me talking to myself essentially. Kayj is asleep. I'm trying to put music on my ever problematic ipod. But i love it still. The wife should be home soon and we'll kick it. I've written almost three new songs in the last week. Very exciting. i m hoping to get together with my band and practice and record in my makeshift studio soon. i'm out of words...word

-(steve)

so this is it...

2008-06-11T16:06:00.000-07:00

So i'm sitting here. and my little girl (Kayj) is taking a nap. She doesn't feel good. Parenting is hard. Not like school hard, like seriously a person's life is in your hands hard. Oh by the way, i'm (steve) i'm twenty one, i have a strange life. I met my girlfriend at 16, got my first tat at 18, got married at 19, had a kid at 20, and moved into a nice house with my wife and girl just before i turned 21. Lifes can chaotic some time. But right now my girls asleep and my wife left for work. I'm grey's anatomy, i have a sick obsession with a show that i think is made for chicks. Oh well. they're going to do surgery on a woman whose having quintuplets. madness i says. This is what i do with my days off. I actually enjoy life right now. I'm tired most of the time luckily i am a Rockstar addict because of it. But thats alright. I wish i could spend more time with every person in my life. I will soon... for now this is ok